


Love Falls

by ImSoVain



Category: Grandrew, andrew garfield - Fandom, grant gustin - Fandom
Genre: Andrew Garfield - Freeform, Angst, Arguing, Blood, Break Up, Coffee, Complicated Relationships, Cutting, Depression, Gay Sex, Grandrew - Freeform, Grant Gustin - Freeform, Hot Men, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I hope someone reads this, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Makeup Sex, Masturbation, Reference to The Flash, Shaving, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, my own little hidden details, ultimatum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:27:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImSoVain/pseuds/ImSoVain
Summary: Grant and Andrew are going through tough times. Can they put their relationship back together, or will jealously threaten to destroy them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I ship these two hardcore. This is my first fic and I hope to God someone reads it lol. 
> 
> This was initially inspired by the song Love Falls by Hellyeah.
> 
> And a huge thanks to my friend Death_Herself for kicking me in the ass and encouraging me to write it. <3  
> Go look at her stuff, she's awesome.

Six months. 

 

Honestly, it had been the best six months of Andrew's life. He was happy, he was giddy, all his days were looking up. Each day was a good day in his eyes, even when the sun wasn't shining. He was in love. Everything was perfect, up until about ten minutes ago. Ten minutes ago, his world came to a screeching halt. Those bright sunny days no longer existed. His worst fear, the one thing he prayed wouldn't happen just did. And he didn't know how the fuck he was going to deal with it. 

 

Six months ago Andrew met the love of his life. An angel, by the name of Grant. It honestly would have never happened if Andrew hadn't missed that subway train. He chalked it up to fate. Grant was everything he wanted in a partner. The only slight issue was that Grant was nervous. He had just come out, and his friends and family weren't very supportive of it. Andrew knew the feeling. The nervousness, the fear. He had dealt with it all a few years ago. Luckily for him, his friends and family were supportive. 

 

They built their relationship together. Supporting each other, through the good times and the bad. They did everything, together. Their relationship had moved pretty quickly those first few months. Up until a few days ago, things had been everything Andrew had hoped for. A few days ago is when things started to get rocky. Grant became withdrawn, something he hadn't done before. He shut down. They tried to work things out, Andrew tried to help Grant with whatever issue he was going through. Sadly, he wasn't getting anywhere. Everything had happened so fast. 

 

Andrew still stood in his living room. Staring. At nothing in particular. He was in shock. The words hadn't even sunk in yet. He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there for. He couldn't bring himself to move. Grant's words still hung in the air, like a bad stench that wouldn't leave the room. 

 

"Baby, I... I just, I can't do this. I'm so sorry. Fuck, please understand. I have to do this. I don't have a choice. I love you, I really do. But right now, it's just too much for me. I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry baby." 

 

Andrew replayed those words over and over in his head. Grant broke up with him. He flat out left him. And Andrew did nothing to stop him. He stood there and watched him, Grant, the love of his fucking life, walk out the door. He didn't even look back. 

 

Andrew couldn't tell what emotion was going through his partner's head, but he knew by the look on his face that this wasn't him. It wasn't his boyfriend talking. They had gone through this before and Andrew had reassured Grant that nothing could come between them. Grant always believed him too. So why was this time any different? Yet Andrew just stood there. He let it happen. 

 

With a sharp intake of air, Andrew felt his lungs finally cry out in pain. How long was he holding that breath for? With that breath, everything came flooding back to life. All the emotions, all the feelings. It's like he woke up. He glanced at the clock sitting on his tv stand. Forty five minutes. He had been standing there for forty five minutes. Grant had been out of his life for forty five fucking minutes. 

 

The dam broke. Andrew took in another sharp breath and looked around the room. Today's sun was fading. His living room was growing dark. And that's when he noticed it. The single tear rolling down his cheek. He wiped it away slowly but he wasn't fast enough. More were coming. Waterworks streaming down his face. 

 

His body began to tremble. He felt like a dying leaf on a tree, brittle and withering as the chill of Autumn begins to set in. And just like leaves, he fell. Down to his knees. He didn't even hear himself at first. The wailing and the sobbing must have been too loud for even him to comprehend. He laid on the floor, curled up in a little ball. All his happiness was gone. He felt like he was dying, and this was only day one. 

 

Day two wasn't any better. No, in fact it was worse. He didn't sleep at all. The sun rose up, like it always did. The birds chirped their happy songs. But Andrew still lay on the floor in his living room. He hasn't moved for hours. The carpet was damp from his tears. Had he really been here all night? He glanced at the clock. By this time, it was mid morning. He slowly sat up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He stood up on wobbly legs and looked around. Breathing slowly, he shuffled his feet in the direction of his bedroom. 

 

Walking felt like a chore. His body was stiff, muscles ached. He pushed open the door to his bedroom and flopped himself on his bed. His eyes instantly filled with tears as he remembered all the nights he and Grant had spent in his bed together. How they would snuggle up with each other until they fell asleep together. How many heated moments they had together. How they had their first time together, making love, and Andrew took Grant's virginity from him. Their steamy make out sessions. Andrew remembered it all. And now, he wished he'd forget all of it. 

 

Hours passed before he finally woke with a start. Did he fall asleep? It was dark outside. How long had he been asleep for was actually a better question. He didn't know, nor did he care for that matter. He sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed. His stomach made a vicious noise at him. Apparently being depressed makes you forget to eat. He knew he should eat, but the thought of food honestly made him sick. 

 

He swallowed thickly and got up. He wandered into the bathroom and grabbed the cup sitting by the sink. It was one of those plastic kids cups with the vinyl print on it. The Flash. Grant's favorite superhero. Andrew looked at it and scoffed, but filled it with water anyhow. After chugging that down he glanced at himself in the mirror. 

 

He looked terrible. Hell, he looked worse than terrible. His hair a mess, cheeks stained with tears. His bottom lip had dried blood stained on it from where he had been chewing it. But his eyes. Well, those were the worst. Red rimmed and blood shot. And they lacked that fire he always had in them. 

 

His eyes were Grant's favorite feature about him. And now, they were the feature that looked the worst. But nothing could top the pain in his heart. Having feeling like it had shattered into a million pieces. So many pieces that if one tried to reassemble them, they wouldn't even be able to find all of those pieces. Not enough glue could ever be used to mend it. 

 

Andrew moved his eyes off his appearance and down to the glistening white sink below him. Bed. That's all he could think of. He wanted so badly to go back to bed, however, his feet would not move. He turned his head, glancing out the doorway and into the hallway. He was waiting for the click of the lock on the front door. The open and close and Grant's footsteps. They never came. Andrew signed. He began to shuffle his way out of the bathroom until something caught his eye bringing him to a standstill. 

 

There it was, just sitting on the back of the toilet. He extended his arm, fingers brushing against the chill of the porcelain. His fingers curled around that shiny, silver, elongated object. He pulled it up to eye level and let out a breath. Moving his other hand he gently gripped the top with his two fingers and pulled it open. The light slid across the blade and off the end like it had just been dipped in a fresh chrome bath. He bit his bottom lip and gave this object an evil smile. His straight razor. 

 

Grant convinced him to get it. Told Andrew that if it didn't give him the smoothest shave of his life, there would be no make out sessions for a whole week. Grant knew he was going to win this wager. Why else would he make such a ridiculous bet? 

 

Andrew recalled the first time he used it. He was nervous and had no idea how to use it. Grant giggled at him, actually giggled. Andrew recalled how cute that noise was. But then, he was caught off guard. 

 

"Let me show you how it's done baby." Grant pushed Andrew down onto the closed toilet seat as he climbed on top of him, straddling his lap. He grabbed the can of shaving cream and pushed down on the top. It made a hiss as the cream, which looked like fluffy white clouds oozed out onto his hand. Andrew closed his eyes as the cool cream was smoothed over his face. 

 

Time seemed to move so slowly. Andrew sucked in a breath when he opened his eyes to see Grant, razor in hand. Grant smiled sweetly at Andrew's nervousness. "Relax baby. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." 

 

Andrew trusted Grant. And as soon as that blade grazed his face, all his worry was taken away. Grant was skilled with that blade. He definitely knew exactly how to use it. Andrew signed and even let out a soft moan when he felt Grant take his free hand and card it through his hair stopping halfway only to gently grab a hand full and pull his head back, exposing his neck. Andrew was completely at Grant's will. His most vulnerable part completely exposed to him. 

 

Andrew enjoyed the feeling of that cool blade against his burning hot skin. Feeling each swipe, hearing the cutting of his hair. He could feel the heat pooling in between his legs. Never would he have guessed that such a simple task could be so erotic. And just when he thought that he was going to go over the edge, it stopped. Andrew opened his eyes to see Grant coming at him with a warm, wet cloth. 

 

Grant gently wiped up what was left of the shaving cream and set the cloth aside. And for a moment, they couldn't break their gaze. After what felt like hours, Grant raised his hand and slowly brushed his thumb against Andrew's cheek. His thumb quickly turned into the back of his hand. He was proud of his work. 

 

Andrew leaned into Grant's touch. He slowly let his eyes slip closed as Grant pulled him into a kiss. He kissed his bottom lip first, lingering on how soft and full it felt, before pulling back. They both let out a breath as Andrew leaned in and kissed Grant's bottom lip this time, savoring every little bit. 

 

Andrew's hands which had been resting on Grant's hips, started to move to his lower back and up his shirt. He began to explore the softness of Grant's skin, rubbing small circles into his flesh. Grant immediately responded by arching his back, pushing his chest flush against Andrew's. Their lip locking continued until both men couldn't take the heat anymore. 

 

They pulled back breathlessly, panting as they did so. "You're lucky this turned out to be the smoothest shave of my life." Andrew whispered as a sly smile grew on Grant's lips. He laughed. "I told you it would be." And with that, they moved their intimacy into the bedroom. It just so happened that it ended up being that night when Grant lost his virginity to Andrew. 

 

Andrew shook his head. He'd give anything, literally anything to go back to that night. He wished so badly that he hadn't seen that razor. His fascination with it was growing far too large, and at such an alarming rate. He knew the phrase. Down the road, not across the street. If it wasn't for his sulking and self loathing, he would have gone down the road. But right now, he decided to go across the street. 

 

Before he could even comprehend what his hand was doing, there was a sting. Next, the sound of tap, tap. Like rain dripping down a gutter. What the fuck was that? He glanced down. Oh. Ooh... He followed those crimson drips and watched them splatter onto the perfect white of the toilet lid. 

 

Fuck. 

 

His eyes slowly drug themselves over to the blade. How beautiful it looked. A lovely two toned color. Grant would be so upset with Andrew if he had seen what he did. And that gave Andrew all the more motivation to do what he did next. He let himself bleed out for a few more seconds. Watching his blood fall from his wrist. He even had the nerve to push down on the wound, expelling even more life from himself. 

 

He didn't care. Not anymore. The pain was arousing. Made him feel alive even. The most alive he'd felt in the past twenty four hours. He wanted to feel alive. Moving the blade, he made another pass. This time digging a little deeper. The pain was excruciating but it made him feel so alive. He watched as his life slipped out of him again. 

 

The toilet lid was a mess. But why should it have all the fun? Now, the floor decided to join in. Partaking in being stained. This bathroom was too white anyhow. Andrew always wanted to repaint. He guessed that was one good thing he got out of this breakup. The chance to redecorate. He'd have to thank his ex for that one day. That is, if he ever got the chance. 

 

Andrew learned quickly why he should go up the road. Crossing the street didn't do much. He no longer felt alive, seeing as his crimson had stopped flowing and was drying up. He signed as he turned to leave the bathroom, catching the lights as he exited. Razor still in hand. He made it back to bed. Where he wanted to be. He slammed the razor down onto his night stand. It made a loud crack, a sound which rang in his ears for longer than it should have. 

 

By day three, the weather was finally cooperating with Andrew's feelings. He woke up around noonish. No sun, but instead it was dark and dreary. And there was rain. It was about time the earth decided to cry with him. But with rain also brought humidity. Something he wasn't much of a fan of. He loved the heat, and, to be honest it was already hot as hell outside. Let alone in his bedroom. He was already going through hell, did he have to feel like he was actually in it too? His skin felt sticky. He wasn't sure if it was from the humidity or the blood. Probably both.

 

His eyes wandered down to his forearm. It was still there. It hadn't gone away. He counted two cuts. Only two? He thought there were more. Though, the ability of being able to distinguish between dreams and reality were becoming a bit challenging. He sat there picking at his scabs. He wanted to cut again but the thought of actually reaching for his razor seemed like too much work. He weighed his options. Move his lazy ass and feel alive, or sit, for what would probably be hours and let the pain etch away at him.

 

He opted for option one. He leaned over and groaned. His muscles still ached and he was hungry. He couldn't remember the last time he ate. As he lay there contemplating what he should do he laid the razor on his stomach. The cool touch of the metal was soothing. He closed his eyes, listening to the steady hum of the rain hitting the roof. His breathing was slow and even and he noticed his body starting to relax. He played with the waistband of his pajama pants, letting his fingertips ghost against his sticky flesh. The contact felt good, but he needed something more.

 

Eyes still closed, he reached with his other hand and grasped the razor. The cool metal was now body temperature. He smiled to himself as he flipped the blade open. He pulled his hand out from under his pants, which now had traveled a little further South than he had expected. Inhaling a deep breath he pushed the razor to his arm. He added force as it slid clean and easily through his flesh. A moan pulled from his lips as he felt that familiar warmth. His life, dripping down his arm.

 

The pain was soothing, arousing even. Andrew opened his eyes and witnessed his precious crimson drizzling down his arm. He pushed around his newly created wound as he wet his lips, inhaling sharply. There was pain yes, but he was more aroused than anything by what he was feeling. He lay his bleeding arm across his chest, while his other hand traveled South. He slipped it underneath his pants and down in between his legs. Fuck he was hard. Sadly, he couldn't recall the last time he had even gotten hard. His mind was swimming as he pushed all his thoughts out of his head. He needed some time with himself, his body was craving it.

 

He pulled his hand out of his pants and aggressively pushed them down and kicked them off. The humidity immediately clung to his body like plastic wrap to a glass bowl. But his hand found its way back to his cock none the less. He took it in his hand and groaned at how full it felt. Thick, hard, and heavy. He gently brushed his fingers along his length, goose bumps forming all over his body. He continued to stroke himself as his breathing started to become more labored. He hadn't felt contact like this in days. He raised his thumb up to his slit, feeling the moisture. Slowly, Andrew circled his thumb over his head, effectively spreading his precum around.

 

Soft moans escaped his dry lips. He continued to stroke himself as his eyes peered around the room. Sure the fisting felt nice, but he needed something. Lube. He didn't want to stop, and he couldn't for the life of him remember where that bottle was hiding. In looking, he shifted his other arm, an idea suddenly appearing in his head. He lifted his arm off his chest and examined his cuts. Blood wasn't flowing anymore. He quickly abandoned his cock and reached for his razor. It was becoming slightly difficult to open as the dried blood was causing it to stick together. He forced it open anyhow and made a pass across his arm.

 

Tossing the object aside again he grabbed his arm with his other hand, making sure to get full coverage with the warm substance. Once he decided it was sufficient, his hand made it's way back to his cock once more. This time, stroking was so much easier. Andrew bit his lip as he fisted himself. Faster and faster, making sure to ghost the pad of his thumb over his slit every so often. It didn't take much for him to reach his climax. He threw his head back as loud moans ripped from his dry throat. His senses were heightened as his warm, sticky, cum ran over his hand. He continued to milk himself dry, his cum adding to his lube. His body shook as he road out the rest of his orgasm.

 

Andrew laid there for a few minutes to let his breathing slow and even back out. He let go of his cock and sat on the edge of his bed. There was enough light in the room to see the mixture of blood and cum on his hand and abdomen. His other arm was starting to dry up again. 

 

With his clean, well cleaner hand he wiped the sweat off his forehead and ran his hand through his greasy hair. He thought back to when Grant used to run those long fingers of his through his hair. How good it used to feel. Of course Grant knew exactly how Andrew liked it too. That's why Andrew kept his hair just a little longer than he usually did. Head rubs felt so much better when his hair was longer.

 

Andrew rolled his eyes and bit his lip. It angered him to think of such memories now. If he couldn't experience them, what was the point of thinking about them? Honestly, if he had hair clippers, he'd go in the bathroom right now and shave it all off. Pajamas and a shaved head. He craved it. Well... At least he had the pajama part down.

 

He signed as he got up and moved into the bathroom. Flipping on the lights he looked in the mirror. Terrible idea. He was pale, eyes blood shot and sunken in, lips dry and bloody. He desperately needed a shave. His hair was a greasy mess. He was covered in dried blood everywhere he looked, and now he could add cum to that list. His skin felt dry and like it was losing its elasticity. He knew what little water he had been drinking wasn't enough. He hadn't eaten in days, and he was starting to notice it. He looked thinner. Thinner than he already was. His ribs shown a little more than usual. His stomach had finally accepted that it wasn't going to get fed and had eventually stopped growling so much. Andrew knew he had to give in at some point. He decided to do so after he cleaned himself up.

 

Turning the handle on the faucet, the shower head came alive. Water gushing out and into the tub. He stepped in, not thinking to pull the knob to hot and was blasted with cold water, instantly chilling him and sending shock through his body. That was quickly fixed however. 

 

For a moment, he just stood there. Letting the water wash over him and trickle down his body. His arm stung. He watched as the clear water pooled around his feet turned a light shade of red. As he watched the colors swirl around on the bottom of the tub, he couldn't help but wonder to himself.

 

What was he doing? This wasn't who he was. He didn't do things like this. Self harm was something he never resorted to. So why now? Why this time? Was it to please himself as to somehow get satisfaction that he was getting back at Grant for doing what he did? Just because Andrew knew if Grant saw him like this that he would be pissed? Andrew also knew that if Grant did see him like this, he would blame himself. Part of Andrew actually wished Grant could see him like this. All bloody and depressed. Just the fact that if Grant knew that he was the one who caused this, all of this, was what Andrew wanted. 

 

Andrew knew he had to stop. He hadn't been taking care of himself. And his arm had seen better days. He knew he probably needed to tend to his cuts, but part of him still didn't care. He stored that thought in the back of his mind right now, he'd get to it eventually. 

 

During the time he was getting lost in his thoughts, he had actually managed to clean himself and wash his hair. Cutting off the water, he stepped out of the tub and dried off. But what if Grant did come back? What if he actually did? Was it even a possibility?

 

Andrew pondered this. Surprisingly, this was the first time he had actually asked himself this question. What would he do? Silly, he knew what he would do. He would take his ass back right then and there. Andrew was desperate. He knew it, but he didn't want to look pathetic. He loved Grant. More than anything. So, why did he leave? 

 

Andrew knew. He had known since the second Grant had walked out of his apartment why he left. Grant loved Andrew, unconditionally. But the problem with Grant was that he always let other people influence him and try to change his mind. Andrew knew that Grant had finally given in. Still, deep down inside he still hoped that Grant would somehow come to his senses and come back.

 

Andrew knew he had to turn things around. He managed to clean his wounds and bandage his arm. For the most part, it was good enough. Meeting his standards at this point in time. He put on a fresh pair of pajama pants and a clean tshirt. He stripped his bed and threw on a new fitted sheet. Good enough. 

 

He wandered out into his kitchen. He hadn't seen this part of his apartment in days. It looked so foreign, yet it was all too familiar. Though, he missed the comfort of his bed. He contemplated turning back but thought better of it. If he was going to dig himself out of this rut, he needed to pick up the shovel and start doing it. He peered inside the fridge. Nothing looked appetizing. The thought of food still turned his stomach sour. But, if he was going to get back out into the dating game anytime soon, he needed to keep up with himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Summers in New York were always steamy. Especially in mid July. Tonight, however, was exceptionally bad. The intense humidity had lifted, but the heat still hung in the air. Like a thick blanket over the city. 

 

This past week had been the worst week of Grant's life. Everyday brought new tears, only they were for the same reason. A week ago he left Andrew. And he felt like a fucking asshole for doing it. He didn't give his lover a reason. But Grant knew that Andrew knew. 

 

It was a stupid reason actually. They had been together for a solid six months. But it was the ultimatum that caught him off guard. His friends wanted nothing to do with him when they found out who he really was. They avoided him like he was some kind of plague. 

 

His family though. His family were the ones who were always there for him. Through thick and thin. His parents especially. He didn't have any siblings to fall back on. No, he was all by himself. But that's why his parents held him at such high esteem. Their golden child, the one who made them so proud. 

 

That's why Grant was so nervous to come out. He knew this would shatter their perfect image of him. The signs were there. All through his youth and teenage years. He was never into sports. Never wanted to be the All Star or the MVP. He had no desire for those activities. No, instead the drama club was what he excelled in. 

 

People always said that those who hung out in theater were, "a little off." Though, that wasn't always the case. Grant tried to play it off, and he did a pretty good job of it too. His friends and parents never suspected a thing. 

 

As he walked down the sidewalk, earbuds in, he thought back to what his parents said. All the bullshit they spewed. Grant had managed to keep his relationship with Andrew a secret for those six months. All hell broke loose when his parents somehow managed to find out though. 

 

He hoped that they wouldn't, but he knew it was just a matter of time. His parents were always sticking their fingers in everyone else's pie. That's when the ultimatum came along. Leave his boyfriend, or be disowned. And disowned meant just that. Cut off from all contact, never to be seen again. Hell, even written out of the will. They weren't messing around. 

 

It was the one thing Grant couldn't risk. He had already lost the majority of his friends, he couldn't lose his family too. So that's why he did it. That was why he left. And he felt like such an idiot for doing it. Was giving up his happiness with the man he (still) loved really worth it? 

 

Grant did a lot of thinking over the past week. And the conclusion he came to was that he was the biggest fool to ever walk the planet. Andrew was his first boyfriend. His first "real" love. He truly loved Andrew, he was everything plus more to him. Grant never said it, but he wished someday, long ways down the road to maybe even take the plunge with him and make Andrew his husband. Well, he screwed that up. Royally. 

 

Grant continued his leisurely stroll down the sidewalk. He didn't have anywhere to go in particular, but he needed to get out of his apartment for a while. He was approaching what he called, "the restaurant stretch." All his favorites packed into a four block radius. As he walked, he couldn't help but notice all the people at said restaurants. They were sitting outside, enjoying the weather and themselves. The majority had either a partner or were with a group of people. 

 

He noticed the spots peppered with the occasional same sex couples. New York didn't hide relationships. People didn't care, they just went about being themselves. Hell, even same sex marriage was legal here. 

 

He was approaching Luigi's, his favorite Italian restaurant, the expensive one on the corner. He didn't go there often, but had been there enough times to know that their food was to die for. It was actually where he and Andrew had their first date together. The thought tore at his gut as his eyes scanned over the people seated out on the patio. 

 

Music with a male voice, singing in a rich Italian accent echoed about the confines of the intimate patio setting. It was a Friday night, a busy time for the city. But that's when he noticed it. 

 

Grant stopped, dead in his tracks. He was lucky no one was walking behind him because they would have for sure ran straight into him. His eyes stopped on his prey, narrowing as if he was honing in for the kill. His posture changed, from casual to aggressive. And the music in his ears seemed to fade away. The song from the Italian fellow was all that lingered, since he had been too focused to even notice that his playlist had stopped. 

 

For there, at one of the far tables set for two, was Andrew. Except he wasn't alone. Oh no. Sitting across from him was another man. A blonde, short hair with a posture that seemed to loom a couple inches over Andrew's height. 

 

There they sat. Engaging in whatever conversation they were having. The way they were seated, Grant could read their every expression. Both men seemed to be enjoying each other's company and conversation. 

 

Grant could see everything but at the same time, all he could see was red. He felt the heat rising. The anger, no, wrath, taking control. Wrath for whoever this blonde was. Grant balled his fists up against his sides. He could feel the fire burning in his chest. 

 

He wanted to do something about it. Call Andrew out. Out of the oh so ever interesting conversation he was having with this other man. Better yet, he wanted to hop the rod iron, waist high fence and storm right over to their little two person table. He wanted so badly to flip over that table and punch this guy clean in his face. 

 

The wrath he felt for this mystery man was starting to consume him. How dare he take Andrew, HIS Andrew here. Especially here. To THEIR restaurant. In fact, Grant couldn't even believe Andrew had agreed to come here. He felt his blood boiling as his eyes bore into this man who was effectively holding his lover's gaze. 

 

Grant was thankful right then for the careless pedestrian who ran straight into him because their gaze was effectively captured by their phone. He snapped out of his glare towards the two men and hurried off down the street. He needed to get away, fast, before he really did do something he was going to regret. Again. 

 

Grant fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. It was almost midnight. He had been wandering the city for hours. At some point in time, he parked his ass on a bench in Central Park to try and collect his thoughts. 

 

The wrath he was feeling had consumed him. And the cold stab of jealously had driven him mad. The biggest thought he couldn't wrap his head around was why. Why did Andrew do it? He really went out with another man! It had only been a week since... And that's when it hit Grant again. They weren't together. Honestly, Andrew was free to see anyone he pleased. 

 

Grant sat there. Elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands. How could he have fucked up so badly! Of course Andrew was going to see other people. He was charming, kind, compassionate, a gentle lover... The list could go on and on. But, Andrew was also extremely attractive. He could get any guy he wanted. 

 

Grant's hands slid up into his hair. He grabbed handfuls of it and pulled as he gritted his teeth together. He was so angry he swore he felt the heat radiating off his body. And that's when he finally made up his mind. He wasn't going to let this continue. Fuck his parents. If this was what he had to deal with to keep them in his life, then he never wanted to see them ever again. 

 

He released his hair, thrusting his hands from his head. He slid off the park bench and started speed walking. If he kept this pace up, he could reach Andrew's shortly after midnight. He just had to hold out another twenty minutes or so. But once he got there, he had no idea what would happen. The thought made him a little nervous, but he had to try.

 

Twenty five minutes later, Grant stood outside his lover's apartment building. He walked up the stairs and tried the front door. It popped open with ease. Well, thank God they hadn't gotten around to fixing that yet. He really didn't want to have to be buzzed in. 

 

Grant made his way into the elevator quickly pushing the button for the sixth floor. The rickety doors still squeaked as they closed. He forgot how ear piercing that sound was. As the elevator started its ascent up, Grant shuffled his feet against the brown, dingy carpet. He noticed that the same stain was still in the corner. Him and Andrew always used to joke about what they thought that stain was. It usually ended with the answer being some sort of bodily fluid. 

 

Finally, Grant heard the last ding of the elevator. The doors opened, again with that irritating squeak. He stepped out and took a left. Apartment 623 was where he was headed. He felt like his stomach was in knots as he walked down the hall. He fished around in his pocket. He had a key for Andrew's apartment but thought better about using it. 

 

His hands were everywhere, just looking for something to occupy himself with out of nervousness until he got to the door. In his pockets, in his hair, playing with the bottom hem on his shirt. He suddenly felt chilled, like he was going to throw up any second. And he knew why. 

 

For there it was. Apartment 623. He stood in front of the door on his left as he took a few breaths in and out, trying to calm his nerves. He bit his bottom lip as his eyes focused on the peeling paint on the door frame. Fuck. He had to do it. He already made it all the way here. It was literally now, or never. 

 

Andrew sat on his couch in his living room. He had been sitting there for hours. Ever since he got back from his dinner, he had been sitting there. Earlier that day he had left his apartment for the third time in a week. He was still depressed but he thought that maybe going to pay a visit to his local Starbucks would maybe do his self esteem some good. 

 

Apparently, he looked more appealing than he thought he looked because he caught the eye of one of the customers there. As Andrew sat there, starring out the window and sipping his Iced Caramel Macchiato, he didn't notice the tall, lanky man approaching him. Andrew's thoughts had been interrupted by the blonde taking the seat across from him. 

 

"Hi, I hope this seat isn't taken?" The man smiled as he set his coffee cup on the table in front of him. 

 

"Oh, um, no it's not." Andrew shook his head as he sat up a little straighter in his chair. More out of surprise than anything. 

 

The man smiled back at Andrew. "Do you come here often? I don't think I've seen you here before." 

 

Andrew played with the plastic top on his cup. "Sometimes. I guess I'm not as committed to coffee like other people are. Every once in a while I'll stop in just to get my fix." 

 

The man chuckled at the comment. "Ah, I see how it is. Yeah this is always my first stop of the day. Can't even function without my morning latte. I could probably buy this building with all the money I've dumped into this place over the years." 

 

Andrew gave a small laugh along with a smile. He examined the man as he listened to him speak. He was tall, good looking, and very slender. Short blonde hair that was perfectly styled and bright icy blue eyes. His teeth were completely straight and whiter than snow. He wore a pale blue dress shirt with a tie to match. Platinum cufflinks sat at his wrists and were peppered with tiny diamonds. His long black dress pants were pressed and pristine. And his shoes were immaculate, black Italian leather that were tied up just so. And on his wrist sat a very shiny, very expensive looking Rolex watch. 

 

The man held out his hand across the small table. "The name's Rodney. It's a pleasure to meet you..." His voice trailed off as he waited for the name exchange to take place. 

 

Andrew lifted his hand, taking ahold of the other's. "Andrew." 

 

Rodney smiled. "Andrew." He rolled the name around on his tongue as if it were a sweet treat he were enjoying. "Well Andrew, it's a pleasure to meet you. Say, if you're not terribly busy tonight would you like to get dinner with me?" 

 

Andrew was sure the shock shown on his face, despite his best effort to hide it. What? Did this man just seriously ask him out? The better question should have been, how did Rodney know he was gay? Andrew forced words out of his mouth, hoping he didn't sound like a bumbling idiot. 

 

"Uh, how... How did you know that I'm..." 

 

Rodney laughed. He waved his hand as he spoke. "Oh don't worry about it. Honestly, I've lived in this city my whole life. It takes one to know one, but here, it's so easy to spot." 

 

Rodney gave Andrew a reassuring smile. "So, dinner?" 

 

Andrew sat there contemplating why an extremely wealthy man such as Rodney had wanted to take him out. Him. Of all people, Rodney asked him? Andrew couldn't make heads or tails of it. 

 

Rodney had insisted that he pick Andrew up that night. He was instructed to wear something nice. That already was a struggle for Andrew. He dug through his closet looking for anything besides tshirts and jeans. He finally decided on black dress pants with a black button down shirt. He pulled out a solid red tie and black shoes to match. 

 

Once in the bathroom, he slicked back his hair and made sure to wrap a fresh bandage around his forearm before putting on his dress shirt. He wasn't cutting as much anymore. In fact, he hadn't for the past few days. However, his nerves got the better of him. When he returned home from the coffee shop, he slipped up. It wasn't as bad as some of the others he had done, but he definitely didn't need it busting open on accident. He needed to keep his secret just that. A secret. 

 

Seven thirty was Andrew's pick up time. He made sure to wait outside for Rodney to show up. Andrew was lucky that the outside of his apartment building looked nicer than the inside. He was already embarrassed enough that such a wealthy man asked him out. But he thought it to be even worse that the man insisted on picking him up. 

 

Andrew stood outside, leaning up against one of the pillars. This place was no palace. He knew Rodney wasn't expecting a mansion. Well, at least he hoped not. He stared down the street as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Seven thirty. 

 

And just then, like clockwork, came the most gorgeous red Ferrari. Rodney. Of course he'd drive a fucking Ferrari. Now Andrew understood why he wanted to pick him up. Never did Andrew want to face palm so bad in his life. Why did he ever agree to this? He grumbled as the Ferrari got closer to him. "Oh Rodney... I would be embarrassed if I were you..." Andrew mumbled to himself as he walked towards the fancy exotic in front of him. 

 

The drive was awkward. Even more awkward was the destination. Andrew's stomach dropped when they pulled up in front of the restaurant. This one? Seriously? Rodney obviously had no idea that this restaurant was a particularly special place to Andrew. But honestly, Andrew should have expected something like this. A fine, expensive restaurant. Only the best for such a wealthy man and his... Date? 

 

Was that what this was? A date? The word ping ponged back and forth in Andrew's head. No way. This was not a date. 

 

Before Andrew even realized that Rodney had gotten out of the car and tossed his keys to the valet, he was at his door pulling it open for him. Andrew felt... Weird. But what happened next, was even more weird. Rodney offered a hand to Andrew. Andrew's heart skipped a beat. This was definitely a date. 

 

Fuck. How on earth did he let this happen? Rodney was treating him like he was the woman. Not wanting to be rude, Andrew took the hand being offered and stepped out of the car. He felt like a complete dumbass. All Andrew could think about was Grant, and he would have given anything to be able to bail out of this situation right now. 

 

Andrew's mind drifted over the awkward events that unfolded that evening as he sat on the couch. He was so deep in thought that he wasn't even sure how long the noise was going on for. Or if he had even heard it, was his mind making it up? 

 

Just then, he heard it again. Soft knocking coming from... Was that his front door? Andrew checked the time. It was past twelve thirty in the morning. Who the hell would be knocking on HIS front door at this time? Confused, he got up. He made sure to pull down his sleeves on his sweatshirt before he got to the door. 

 

He had changed into more comfortable clothes when he had gotten home. Basketball shorts and a sweatshirt. The sleeves were for obvious reasons but he figured he was the only one here so why should it matter? Also despite the fact that it was seventy five degrees outside, his apartment felt like Antarctica. Damn air conditioning. It was always either too hot or too cold in here. But he didn't really seem to mind, he was the only one here. Until now.


	3. Chapter 3

Andrew opened his front door and froze. His jaw fell open slightly as his hand stayed clenched on the door handle. His eyes felt like they were as big as saucers, and he swore he felt his heart skip a beat. All he could do was stand there and stare. 

 

Grant stood there, in front of Andrew. His eyes darted back and forth between Andrew and whatever else was around him. He was nervous. He was scared. But most of all, he was so unprepared. He had gone over his script over and over in his head on his way here, but now everything just disappeared. 

 

Seconds felt like years before Grant finally cleared his dry throat. "Uhh... Can, can I uh..." Grant's voice shook as he nodded his head towards Andrew's living room. 

 

Andrew shook his head as to clear himself of the haze he was in before he spoke. "Uh, yeah... Yeah, please..." Those words came out softly as he stepped aside, pushing the door open further. He gestured with his arm as he held it out into his living room waiting for Grant to enter. 

 

Grant stood there for a second before he entered into Andrew's territory. He walked slowly into the middle of the living room, his back facing Andrew. He stood there as he heard the door close and Andrew twist the deadbolt, something he knew was a habit for him. 

 

Andrew moved closer into the middle of the room as he hid his hands away into the front pocket of his sweatshirt. He watched as Grant turned around to face him, hands in the pockets of his jeans. Despite the fact that he was nervous as all hell, Andrew couldn't resist the urge to give him a once over. God, he looked gorgeous. 

 

Grant's outfit was simple, but those were the ones that Andrew loved the most. The solid black V neck tshirt hugged Grant's slender frame so perfectly. His stonewashed blue jeans he knew were Grant's favorite pair. The looser fitting ones with the left knee blown out. And his black and white Converse, the ones he swore never to get rid of. His hair still looked the same during their week apart. Short sides with length on top. Spiked up, but due to his nervousness, was smoothed down slightly from him excessively running his hand through it. 

 

Yes, Grant looked absolutely delicious. And Andrew wanted to devour every bit of him right then and there. He hadn't seen him in a week, but he already knew that he wanted to fuck the shit out of him. He could already feel feel his cock getting hard, and all he was doing was looking at him. He shifted his thoughts to calm himself down. They needed to talk. Now was not the time to pop a boner. 

 

Grant shuffled his feet against the carpet as if he were trying to gather up the courage to speak. He was actually. He knew he couldn't just stand here in the middle of Andrew's living room forever. "I, I hope it's not too late, I just... I mean I wasn't sure if you'd still, well, ya know..." 

 

"No, no it's... No..." Andrew knew what Grant meant. Of course he was still up, but Andrew was holding out hope that he was talking about more than just being too late to still be awake. 

 

Grant gave a weak smile as he looked away, nodding his head. He pulled a hand out of his pocket and ran it through his hair. "I, I had to come..." His voice trailed off as his hand stopped halfway in his hair. "I had to see you..." His voice was a mere whisper as he spoke those five words. 

 

Andrew closed his eyes and bowed his head. He bit his bottom lip as he shook his head in understanding. He was so glad that Grant was here. His heart overflowed with emotion, the love blooming like a Spring flower. But he still was so angry at him. He still felt the pain, the pain that had been festering and making itself at home inside of him. 

 

The two men stood there in silence. Grant on the verge of wanting to say something but not knowing what to say. And Andrew fighting back tears. The tension in the room was so thick it could have been cut with a knife. It was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop, even on the carpet. 

 

"Andrew I..." 

 

"Don't." Andrew held up his hand as he cut Grant off. "What more could be left to say? I'm not sure why you came back..." 

 

Grant stood there, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want to piss Andrew off, however, he needed to tell him his feelings. 

 

"I need to apologize... That's why I came back. I need to apologize..." 

 

"So you need to apologize for leaving me? That's why you're here? Because it's not bad enough that you broke up with me and left me, but now you need to come say you're sorry for doing it?" 

 

"Andrew please listen..." 

 

Andrew held up his hand again but said nothing. Grant stopped talking, not wanting to upset Andrew further. He watched as Andrew closed his eyes again and placed his hand on his cheek. He also witnessed as a tear rolled down his ex lover's cheek. How badly he wanted to pull him into a hug right then and there. 

 

The nagging voice inside Grant's head told him not to speak but he ignored it. He couldn't do this any longer. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for those things I said. They weren't true..." 

 

"So the part about you loving me, that wasn't true either?" 

 

"What? No. Yes. I... Ugh fuck...That's not what I meant..." 

 

"Do you know how much pain I've been in? What you've put me through? No, you don't. You probably wouldn't even believe me if I told you..."

 

"You don't think I've been going through the same pain?" 

 

"I don't know, have you?" Andrew's words were laced with a bit of venom towards Grant. He knew the grit was going to come out at some point. 

 

Grant looked a bit taken a back at Andrew's question. A bit insulted even. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" 

 

Andrew glared at Grant, with a smug look on his face and shrugged. "You're the one who caused the pain, I just figured there was no way you'd be suffering as bad as I have been." 

 

Grant narrowed his eyes at Andrew. He shook his head as he gritted his teeth. "It wasn't my fucking choice." 

 

"Oh really? Really? Then who's choice was it? Did someone else come here and break my heart? Because I'm pretty sure it was you." 

 

"There was an ultimatum." 

 

Andrew scoffed. "An ultimatum... Really..." 

 

"Yes, really. It was either I break up with you, or I was disowned by my family. The only people I had left."

 

Andrew could feel the heat inside of him rising. He pulled his hands out of his pocket and held them at his sides. "Your family? You picked your family over me? You told me you wanted to be with me forever. That no matter what, we'd make this work. You promised me that! And then you up and left me because of your fucking family? Because of a fucking ultimatum!" 

 

"I wasn't thinking!" Grant tried to plead with Andrew, to let him know that there was more to it than that. 

 

"No! No you fucking weren't! Finally you see it, that's the problem right there. You let everyone else influence you! You can't even think for yourself!" As soon as that last sentence left Andrew's mouth, he knew all hell was about to break loose. 

 

Grant raised an eyebrow and cocked his head back slightly. He let the words sink in for a few seconds before he scoffed and spat the following words. "Fuck you." 

 

Andrew snickered but didn't say anything. If only... If only Grant would fuck him. Right here, on the floor in the middle of the living room. He was so hot when he got angry. And even hotter when he started hurling curses at him. Andrew couldn't let his mind slip though. Right now, his rage overpowered his horniness. He was soon pulled from his thoughts by Grant's question. 

 

"Who was he?" Grant had a mission that he wanted to get to the bottom of. 

 

Andrew was caught off guard. "What?" 

 

Grant crossed his arms over his chest. "You heard me, who was he?" 

 

"Who was who?" 

 

"Don't play stupid with me Andrew. Blondie. Who the fuck was he?" 

 

Just then, it all came rushing back to Andrew. Rodney. But wait, how the fuck did Grant know about Rodney? The question was burning in his mind. "How... How the hell do you know about Rodney?" 

 

"Oh! So blondie does have a name! Don't think I didn't see you with him. Sitting on the patio, at OUR restaurant!"

 

"Are you following me?"

 

Grant laughed at Andrew's question. "Ha! Following you! You really think I have nothing better to do?" 

 

Andrew gave him a disgusted look and shook his head. He shoved his hands back into his front pocket. "What the hell is wrong with you man?" 

 

"Me? What the hell is wrong with me? We're broken up for a week and you're already seeing some guy? Clearly I'm not the one with the problem here. That would be you. It's no wonder you haven't called, begging me to take you back! You already got a new man!" 

 

Andrew's jaw dropped open. He couldn't believe how much of an asshole Grant was being right now. He took a step closer as he retaliated. "Now you just listen here! First of all, I'm not dating this guy. I met him this morning and he asked me out. I'm not even sure why I accepted in the first place. The whole thing was awkward. And it turned even more awkward when we pulled up in front of OUR restaurant. I was desperate. Dinner tonight was the fourth time I've left my place in a week! I didn't even consider this to be a date! I needed to get out, needed to talk to someone other than myself, needed at actually eat something worthwhile. You have no idea the shit I've been going through!" 

 

"What about me? What do you think I've been going through! I was forced to do this, forced to leave the person I love. But you don't see me going out with some other guy just because I'm depressed!" 

 

Andrew frowned. He couldn't believe the conversation they were having right now. "Why are you being so selfish right now?"

 

"I'm being selfish?"

 

Andrew thought for a minute. "You're jealous. You're fucking jealous because I had dinner with someone who wasn't you."

 

Grant scoffed. "I'm, I'm not..."

 

"And you're scared. You are fucking terrified that you're going to lose me. Even though you're the one who left me..." 

 

"Shut up!" Grant shouted at Andrew. He didn't want to hear this. Even though everything this beautiful man was saying to him was absolutely true. Grant angrily ran a had through his hair as he reached out and snatched a pillow off the recliner next to him. He paced back and forth in his spot death gripping the pillow. He didn't come here to fight with Andrew. No, he came here to get him back. Well, this wasn't going as well as he thought it was going to. 

 

Andrew just stood there, watching Grant's every move. He didn't really know what he should do or even say. So, he didn't do anything except stare. 

 

Grant stood with his back facing Andrew. Still gripping the pillow as he tried to think of something to say. Something that wouldn't throw more fuel onto this fire. "Why are you wearing a sweatshirt anyways? It's fucking seventy five degrees outside."

 

Andrew's head jerked up to look in Grant's direction. Did he seriously just change the subject to his attire? But then, he suddenly remembered why he was wearing that sweatshirt. Oh shit. He had to play it cool. "What?" 

 

Grant turned around to face Andrew again. He nodded with his head as he brought the pillow down to his side. "That sweatshirt, why are you wearing it? It's hot as hell outside."

 

Andrew shrugged. "It's cold in here." It wasn't a lie, he probably should have turned down the air conditioning by now. 

 

Grant nodded a few times before tossing the pillow back onto the chair. Both men watched it bounce in place with a soft thud. He shuffled a foot on the carpet before hooking both his thumbs in his belt loops. He glanced up at the air conditioner in the corner of the room and walked towards it. He unhooked his thumb, successfully freeing his hand and adjusted the temperature up a few degrees. He then turned back around and went back to his spot on the floor. 

 

Andrew stood watching as the events unfolded in front of him. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for something to happen. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long. 

 

"Look, I didn't come here to fight with you..." 

 

"Then why are you here? To be an asshole? Because you're doing a really great job of that. Or was it to bitch at me about Rodney?" 

 

Grant thought the fire in his chest was cooling off, but once he heard Andrew speak those words, the heat shot right back up again. "Hey! Hey, fuck you! You know, maybe I am jealous, and maybe I am being an asshole... But I came here to apologize, I really did..." 

 

Andrew watched Grant. He knew he had more to say, but he was holding back. And he didn't know why. He knew why he was here, so why was he beating around the bush?

 

"You know, why don't you just say what you came here to say? Stop wasting my time with all this bullshit. You know, it's bad enough that my heart still aches for you, but then you come here and beat around the fucking bush. Either say what you came here to say, or leave!" 

 

Grant stood there, shocked. Did Andrew just tell him to leave? He wanted to fire back but knew that he couldn't keep losing his cool. He didn't think the task at hand was going to be so difficult. Boy, was he ever wrong. 

 

"Did, did you just tell me to leave?" Grant spoke in a soft voice. Those words actually did sting a little. Something he wasn't expecting. 

 

Andrew looked at Grant and then to the floor. "Yeah, I did. If we can't have a real conversation, then we don't need to have any kind of conversation at all." Andrew didn't want to ruin his chances. He really didn't. But if things kept going on like this, he knew nothing good was going to come from it. He already had the overwhelming urge to cut again, something he really didn't want to continue to do. "I know you have more to say. I know you do. Just say it... Please just say what you came here to say."

 

Grant took a few deep breaths. What was his problem? Actually, he knew what his problem was. It was... What was his name? Rodney? He was so hung up on Rodney that he couldn't even think straight. He heard what Andrew said about him, but was it really true? Or was it all a lie? He wanted to believe Andrew, he really did. But he was so insecure and unsure which was causing this whole thing to turn into one big giant mess. 

 

Grant put a hand on his head and closed his eyes briefly. He sighed, "I... I don't think I can do this right now..." He whispered to himself but it was just loud enough for Andrew to overhear. 

 

Andrew scoffed and shook his head. "You're such a fucking coward." He folded his arms over his chest and looked at Grant. 

 

Grant's whole demeanor changed. He stood up straighter and his chest seemed to puff out. His whole attitude became aggressive. "What the fuck did you just call me?" He growled at Andrew. Fuck this. He wasn't having this. And it was Andrew who called HIM the asshole. 

 

Andrew visibly gritted his teeth as he shot a response back at Grant. "You heard me!" 

 

Grant's eyes narrowed into tiny slits as his breathing became heavy due to his anger. He held his arms at his side as he balled his fits up. "Why don't you come over here and say it to my fucking face!"

 

Andrew wasted no time marching right into Grant's personal space. Grant had the height advantage. He had four inches on Andrew, not like it was much but Andrew wasn't afraid. He could feel the heat radiating off of his ex. He could also smell the expensive cologne he gave him. Andrew had fallen in love with it the second he smelled it. He knew Grant would love it, and he did. Well, it was nice to know he still used it. 

 

"You're a fucking coward! You always have been, that's why you broke up with me! That's why you let your feelings be twisted by people who obviously don't give a damn about you! Fuck you and everything you've said, or rather not said! Get out! Get the fuck out of here!" Andrew whirled around on his heel as he started for the front door. 

 

"No, no! Don't you fucking walk away from me!" Grant became panicked. He took a few steps after Andrew and reached out and grabbed his arm and pulled him back. But what he was expecting to happen next, didn't. 

 

He was expecting Andrew to haul off and punch him in the face, but his fist never came. Instead, Andrew hissed and jerked his arm away and out of his grasp. His face was twisted like he was in some sort of pain. He pulled his extremity close to his chest as he gripped his forearm with his other hand. He watched as Andrew tried to hide his obvious pain while he turned away from him. 

 

What was that about? He didn't grab him that hard? Or maybe he did? 

 

"Shit... I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to grab you that hard. Are, are you alright?" 

 

Andrew was terrified. The pain was worse than expected and it wasn't subsiding as quickly as it usually did. He was gripping it rather hard when he felt something that really sent him into a panic. He carefully glanced down at his sleeve, trying not to make it obvious. And that's when he saw it. 

 

Blood. 

 

Fuck. 

 

Grant had broken open his cut from earlier. Andrew knew it was serious if it had already soaked through the gauze he had wrapped it with earlier. Now, it was soaking through onto his sleeve. He panicked. He didn't know what to do now. He hoped Grant hadn't seen the blood. He mustn't because he wasn't panicking like he knew he would be. 

 

Andrew was fucked. He knew he was. The secret he was trying so hard to hide was now going to come out. Well, at least Grant was going to find out the real truth as to why he was wearing this sweatshirt. 

 

"Andrew?"

 

"I'm fine." Andrew shot the words back as he hurried off to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He was so fucked.


	4. Chapter 4

Grant stood there, in the middle of the living room, alone. Now what? He honestly didn't think he grabbed Andrew that hard. He hoped he didn't hurt him. He looked around the room, unsure of what he should do next. So he did the only thing he thought of. He followed Andrew. As he got closer to the bathroom door he could hear the water running. He didn't know what to do, so he gave a small knock. 

 

No answer. Just the same sound of the steady stream coming from the faucet. He tried knocking again, this time a little louder. But still, another failed attempt. 

 

"Andrew?" He questioned but still got no answer. He was becoming concerned now so he opened up the door slowly and stuck his head in. 

 

He could see Andrew at the sink with his left forearm under the running water. He rested his right elbow on the edge of the sink and he had his head in his hand. Was he crying? Grant's eyes traveled down Andrew's left arm. He saw a steady stream of red discoloring the water in the sink. Oh my God. Was that blood? 

 

Grant's stomach instantly dropped. Did he seriously hurt the other man that bad? But then his eyes explored more. He saw all sorts of marks. Some old, some new. But the one with the blood was fresh. His jaw dropped slightly. Was Andrew cutting himself? Oh God, he was. He totally was. And this was all Grant's fault. Well, at least he knew why Andrew was wearing that sweatshirt now. He was trying to hide this. 

 

Grant's stomach was tying itself in knots as he looked at the picture in front of him. How could this have happened? He felt sick as a tear ran down his cheek. "Oh my God Andrew... Let me help you." His voice was soft as he didn't want to startle Andrew. He pushed his way past the door and into the bathroom. 

 

Andrew jerked his head up in Grant's direction when he heard his words. Busted. He quickly wiped his tears with the side of his finger as he tried to hide his arm. He knew there was no point. He knew Grant had seen it all already. He might as well just come clean about it now. But he couldn't stop crying. It's like the more he looked at Grant, the more tears fell from his eyes. 

 

Both men stood there for a few seconds. Neither of them not knowing what to say, or do. Tears fell from both of their eyes. Grant stood there with a hand over his mouth. He couldn't believe this. Andrew, his baby, was hurting himself. And it was because of him. 

 

Grant turned to the medicine cabinet next to him and opened it up. He started rummaging through to find what he needed. He finally pulled out some alcohol, antiseptic ointment, and a roll of gauze. He set them on the back of the toilet as he carefully approached Andrew. 

 

Andrew watched carefully at what Grant was doing. He was mad. Mad that Grant knew his secret. But at the same time, he was also scared. What was Grant going to do? What was he going to say? Was he upset because of what he was doing? Andrew didn't know. And he was so scared to find out. 

 

He felt so ashamed, so stupid now for doing this. He felt even more stupid for getting caught. Like a small child getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar before dinner. He felt the hot tears run down his face as he let the warm water flow over his arm. It had stopped bleeding. The stinging still existed but he could deal with that. He was pulled from his thoughts when he saw Grant extend his hand towards him. Andrew instantly flinched away like he was expecting Grant to hit him. He was so afraid. 

 

Grant saw Andrew flinch and immediately retracted his hand. All he wanted to do was help him. "Andrew, please let me help you." Grant's voice was soft, a whisper almost. He watched as Andrew turned his head away from him and focused his eyes on the running water. He witnessed more tears fall from the broken man's eyes and as he did, Grant felt his heart break. 

 

"Baby..." Grant whispered to Andrew which caused Andrew to break down even further. Andrew's head fell into his other hand as he started to sob. Andrew absolutely adored it when Grant called him that. It was his favorite pet name. That's why when Andrew heard it, he just couldn't take it. 

 

Grant leaned over and cautiously turned off the water. The sound stopped and the only sound that could be heard was Andrew's sobbing. Grant swiped a small towel from off the towel ring on the wall by the sink. He very, very carefully placed his hand on the small of Andrew's back. This was the first time both men had skin to skin contact in over a week. Andrew jumped slightly at the contact, but didn't pull away. And that's when Grant noticed that Andrew wasn't wearing a shirt anymore. 

 

Grant's eyes traveled over Andrew's body. The man was already skinny, but he looked even more boney than usual. His spine stuck out a bit further than normal. And his ribs, well, Grant could count them if he really wanted to. Had Andrew stopped eating? The cuts lined his forearm one after another. Some were healing and others looked a little angry. Hell, there was so much more going on here than Grant even realized. Andrew, his baby, was suffering. 

 

Suddenly, Grant felt like such a complete fucking asshole. He came here to get Andrew back, and instead, he ended up causing him even more pain it seemed. He hadn't seen Andrew in over a week and finally when he did, all he seemed to focus on was himself and his feelings. How could he be so selfish? 

 

Grant brushed the tips of his fingers along Andrew's back as he removed his hand. "Hey, come here, let me see." Grant brought the towel up motioning towards Andrew's arm. 

 

Andrew looked at the towel for a second, as if he were trying to determine whether or not to give Grant his arm. After a few seconds, he finally complied. He slowly outstretched his arm and waited for Grant to take it. He watched as he placed his hand underneath his wrist and gently pat dried his arm. Grant's hands were warm and his touch was extremely gentle. It felt so nice. 

 

Andrew watched Grant remove the towel and set it down on the counter next to the sink. He didn't speak but instead guided Andrew over to sit down on the toilet lid. He did as Grant wanted him to and sat down. His eyes focused down on the floor as he tried to hide his feelings. 

 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Grant gathering the supplies from behind him. He knelt down on the floor in front of him, trying to get down to his level. However, there was absolutely no way Grant could ever get down to the level Andrew was feeling, he was convinced. 

 

Grant poured some of the alcohol on the drying towel he just used. "Can I?" He questioned as he nodded towards Andrew's arm. 

 

Andrew didn't speak. Instead he held his arm out for the other man to clean. Never once looking in his direction. The towel was cool, and the alcohol stung. Andrew winced but kept quiet. 

 

"I'm sorry." Grant apologized as he retracted the towel, exchanging it for the antiseptic ointment, and finally the gauze. As he finished tying it securely around Andrew's arm, he heard his ex lover suck in a breath. He looked up to see him trying his damnedest to fight back tears. 

 

"Hey... Hey, it's ok. Baby it's ok." 

 

A few tears slipped past his glassy eyes and ran down his reddened cheeks. "No..." Andrew breathed. He sucked in a shaky breath before he continued. "No it isn't." 

 

Grant felt his stomach drop. God, Andrew was so broken. The poor man couldn't even function. But he fought so hard to keep it all together and honestly, Grant was impressed at his will for fighting. He knew though... He knew Andrew wasn't winning the battle. He was crumbling right in front of his eyes. 

 

"Baby, everything is..."

 

"Stop... Stop telling me it's all ok." Andrew balled up his fist and pushed it against his mouth. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths in and out of his nose before returning to his previous position. 

 

"Do you know how stupid I feel right now? God, I feel like a complete idiot. I mean... Look at me." Andrew gestured to his now bandaged arm. "What am I doing?" He shook his head as he starred off into space. "You know how badly I wanted this to end?" 

 

Grant knew what Andrew was talking about. He wasn't talking about the bleeding, or the situation. He was talking about his life. 

 

"You know how badly I wanted to do it? So many times I would cut, but I was always too scared to go too deep. I was too afraid of actually letting go." Andrew shook his head again as he moved his gaze down to the floor. He took a shaky breath in again before letting out a chuckle. 

 

Grant had been listening, starring at anything that wasn't Andrew. But when he heard him chuckle, he looked up. 

 

"I wanted to do it." Andrew started to tear up again, the pressure building as he let out a few broken sobs. "I wanted to kill myself so badly! I wanted to slit my wrists and watch myself bleed out and be done, just be done with all this!" He lowered his head into his hand again as the next words just came spilling out of his mouth in a strangled cry. "I couldn't do it! I was too much of a fucking coward to even kill myself! And I couldn't do it because I still had hope. Hope that maybe you'd come back to me. Hope that maybe one day, we'd be together again." Andrew sobbed. He turned his head and looked at Grant as the next words he literally said without even thinking. "I love you Grant! I love you! And I don't want to be away from you anymore! Please... Please don't do this to me anymore, oh God please... Please..." Andrew broke down into a full on audible, sobbing mess. 

 

Grant felt his heart shatter and tears pour from his eyes. He couldn't do this anymore. He pulled Andrew down onto the floor and into his lap. "Oh baby, baby come here! Oh God baby, I love you. You know I love you." Grant held Andrew tight in his arms as they both sat on the floor in a heap and cried together. 

 

They weren't sure how long they had been sitting in each other's arms for. Minuets? Hours? 

 

Grant was sitting with his back against the wall and his legs spread with his knees up. Andrew sat in between Grant's legs with his head on his chest. One arm was behind his back and wrapped around his hips, while the other was resting gently on the other side of Grant's chest. One of Grant's arms was wrapped securely around Andrew's shoulders, while he ran his other hand through Andrew's hair. Both men had calmed down and their breathing had evened out. 

 

Andrew raised his head and looked up at Grant, both of their eyes were red and puffy. Grant looked down at Andrew and smiled slightly. "You know I love you, right?" 

 

Andrew nodded his head in response to Grant's question and snuggled closer to him. 

 

Grant tightened his grip on his baby. "I don't care what people think anymore. If I have to be away from the one person I love more than anything in order to be accepted by my peers, then I want nothing to do with those people." Grant placed his hand under Andrew's chin and raised his head up slightly. "I love you. I love you so much. And I am so sorry for everything. All the pain I have caused you, all the suffering you've had to endure... I know I've been an asshole and I know I don't deserve you, but please... If you could ever find it in your heart to take me back, I swe..." 

 

Andrew had heard enough. He placed his hand on the side of Grant's cheek and softly pressed his lips against his. As soon as his lips touched Grant's, all that fire came back into his veins. He felt alive. More alive than he'd ever felt in his entire life. Of course he'd take Grant back. This man was everything Andrew wanted in life. In fact, he wasn't even sure how he made it through life without him. 

 

Andrew pulled back slightly and looked into Grant's eyes. The look they shared, Andrew could tell that Grant was back to his regular self again. But this time, it was a little different. There was the same fire yes, but this time, there wasn't a single trace of fear in his eyes. And that's when Andrew knew that Grant was completely serious about what he had said. 

 

"So... Is that a yes? Or..." 

 

Andrew laughed. He leaned in and kissed Grant again feeling his smile against his lips. He let the kiss linger for a few seconds before pulling back. "Yes, that would be a definite yes." Grant smiled, "I was hoping so." 

 

Andrew just smiled and starred into Grant's eyes. He missed doing this. Missed the deep emerald green of his lover's beautiful eyes. He could get lost in those eyes. "I'm glad I held out hope for us..." Andrew spoke in a whispered but serious voice. 

 

"I am too baby... I am too." Grant ran his hand through Andrew's hair again. "Think we'll be together forever this time?" 

 

Andrew didn't even need to think about his response. He nodded, "I do." 

 

The words rang in Grant's ears. Those feelings being brought to the surface once again. Feelings that he hadn't thought about in a while. Does he dare bring the subject up? He felt a little nervous and his heart started to beat just a little bit faster. He hoped Andrew didn't notice. 

 

Fuck it. If they were already pouring out their feelings to each other, he might as well give it a shot. What did he have to lose? Grant said very quietly, "That's my line..." 

 

Andrew looked confused and smiled. "What?" 

 

Grant could feel himself blushing. Oh God. He already started, it was too late to turn back now. "You said I do... I said that's my line..." 

 

Andrew still was a bit puzzled. What did Grant mean by that? He looked into Grant's eyes, searching for an answer. "I don't... Follow. But, when people say I do, aren't they usually talking about..."

 

Grant nodded. "Yes." 

 

"Wait. Wait, are you... Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

 

Grant smiled and nodded slowly. 

 

Andrews jaw dropped. "Wait, you're..." Andrew placed his hand over his mouth for a second. "Are you asking me to m-marry y-you?" 

 

"I was serious when I said that I loved you. And that I didn't care what other people thought anymore. I've thought long and hard about this Andrew. This is what I want. I fucked up, royally, and I want to fix it. I never want to lose you, ever. You don't have to say yes, or if you need time to think about it I.."

 

"Yes."

 

"What?" 

 

"Yes." 

 

"Wait. You mean you'll..."

 

"Marry you? Yes, I will." 

 

Grant was dumbfounded. He must have looked like a fish, because he couldn't stop gaping. Did Andrew just accept his proposal? He couldn't believe what he just heard.

 

"Are, are you serious? But, I've been such an asshole..."

 

Andrew laughed. "Listen, we've been through hell this past week. And I know we've said and done some things that have angered each other. But, you took the initiative to come here and mend our relationship. You were the one who walked out on me, but you are also the one who came back to fix it. You made a decision. A decision to come here and get me back. And you did. And, not only that, but you asked me to marry you. That takes some serious guts sweetheart."

 

Grant smiled sheepishly. "I just, didn't think you'd say yes."

 

Andrew smiled. "I love you. And when someone loves someone else enough to ask them to commit the rest of their life to them and asks them to marry them, they say yes. If the feelings are mutual that is." Andrew's smile grew wider. "Which they are."

 

Grant returned the smile as he felt the blush intensify in his cheeks. He blinked a few times before leaning in to claim his fiancé's lips in a sweet kiss.

 

"You know, this wasn't how I expected this whole proposal thing to go... Sitting on the bathroom floor in your apartment after we just finished bawling our eyes out..."

 

Andrew burst out laughing. And he continued laughing for several minutes along with Grant. Finally, Andrew heard that laugh he loved so much. He shrugged. "Romance... It's all so overrated anyways you know?"

 

Grant laughed at his statement. "Whatever, you're such a sap and you know it!" He listened to Andrew laugh as he laid his head back against the wall. "This is definitely not what I thought I would be doing tonight." 

 

Andrew's gaze met Grant's. His whole demeanor changed, and Grant noticed. Andrew's body became more alert, his eyes hooded, and his pupils blown. "You know what I want to do tonight?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

Andrew ran a hand through Grant's thick, dark hair as he brought his eyes up to meet his lover's. "I want to make love to you."

 

Grant immediately felt his breathing become heavy. And now it was his turn for his body to respond. He sat up straighter, and he felt chills run up and down his spine. He noticed his neglected cock start to spring to life between his legs. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead, a soft whimper came out. 

 

He hadn't been intimate with Andrew in well over a week. Hell, he hadn't had much action at all beside the few times he masturbated. Which, he could count on one hand. His desire burned for Andrew. Grant needed this, he needed this so badly. Actually, they needed this. He knew sex wasn't the answer to their problems, but they needed to do this. They needed the physical contact, needed to feel each other's skin against their own. Needed to do the most intimate thing they could possibly do with each other. And that was to make love, not fuck. 

 

"I want you..." Grant's voice trailed off in a whisper.

 

"No, I want you. In my room, naked, on my bed." Andrew leaned in and slowly kissed Grant's lips then whispered, "Right now."

 

Andrew stood up and offered a hand to Grant, which he took. As soon as Grant was on his feet, Andrew took the opportunity to show a little dominance. He immediately placed his hands on his lover's chest and slid them up to his shoulders. With a little bit of force, he pushed Grant's shoulders back against the wall. 

 

Their gazes locked in a tight grip. Grant was panting, waiting for Andrew's next move. His body screamed for attention. He could feel the bumpy surface against his back from the wall behind him as it matched the goose bumps that seemed to form over his skin. 

 

Andrew could smell Grant's vulnerability, and he knew he was waiting for his next move. Andrew leaned in, pinning his fiancé's body up against the wall as his lips loomed over the soft, pale flesh of his neck. Andrew inhaled deeply, the intoxicating smell of that expensive cologne filling his nostrils.

 

Andrew licked his lips as he went in for the kill. His tongue left his mouth and traced a line up the side of Grant's neck. A sharp intake of breath was Grant's reply. Andrew was pleased with that response. He then placed a soft kiss to the skin, eliciting a hiss from the other man.

 

Andrew pushed his hips up against Grant's and was satisfied with what he felt. The bulge in his pants was growing bigger every second. Finally, Andrew decided to finish him off. The winning move that always made Grant melt into a puddle on the floor.

 

Andrew bared his teeth against his lover's neck and started to nibble. Soft nibbles turned into gentle sucks mixed with kisses. Grant's neck was the most vulnerable part on his whole body, and Andrew wasted no time in making the man squirm.

 

Soft cries and lust filled moans were leaving Grant's lips. Finally, Andrew had succeeded in claiming him once again.

 

"Please..."

 

Even though he only spoke one word, Andrew could hear the begging spilling from Grant. The want and the need for intimacy was beyond the point of a topic of conversation. Action needed to take place.

 

Andrew pulled his lips from the porcelain skin, which now had a soft red hue to it. He turned his gaze upwards to meet Grant's. When their eyes met, Andrew felt like he could have came right then and there.

 

Grant's eyes were begging. Almost to the point of tears. His breathing was ragged. His lips wet and parted as his chest heaved up and down. His legs were shaking and his skin was flushed. His whole body felt like it was on fire. Grant's tongue slowly darted out as he wet his lips again, "Please..." He begged as the word forced its way from his dry throat.

 

Andrew had done it. His mission was accomplished. He was dying to see the other man fall apart in front of his eyes, and he had done it. Andrew loved it when Grant begged ever so slightly. Andrew smiled deviously and bit his bottom lip softly. "Come on." He took Grant's hand as he lead him into the bedroom.

 

Grant followed like a little puppy about to receive a treat. And boy, was he about to get one hell of a treat. As soon as the bedroom door closed, he wanted ever so badly to jump Andrew. To tear his shorts off and go down on him. But he knew this wasn't a fuck session. This wasn't going to be wild and forceful. No. This was going to be slow and tender. After all, this was makeup sex.

 

The room was dark, but the blinds were slotted open showing the light from the moon outside. It lit up the room just enough so that each of them could read the other's expressions.

 

"Strip."

 

Grant felt the fire flow through his veins when he heard his baby say that word. His breath hitched as he toed off his shoes and kicked them off into the corner. His shirt was next as he grabbed the back of the collar and pulled it over his head. His eyes stayed on Andrew the entire time, observing the lust driven look in his lover's eyes. Next came his jeans. He slowly unbuttoned them and pulled down the zipper. He grabbed a hold of the waist and pushed them down, letting them fall into a puddle around his feet.

 

Andrew watched the pants hit the floor as he patiently waited. He didn't mind the length of time this was taking. He was enjoying his little strip show. And seeing Grant's body slowly being exposed to him was just building up his horniness.

 

Grant stepped out of his pants and pushed them to the side with his bare foot. Because, fuck socks. And there he stood, the only thing left to be removed was his boxers. He slid his thumbs into the inside of the waistband to remove them.

 

"Wait." Andrew's voice was barely audible, just above a whisper.

 

Grant did as he was told and removed his hands as he watched Andrew approach him. His strides stopped right in front of him. Neither man said a word as Andrew placed his hands on Grant's hips and slid them into the material. Tantalizingly he slid the boxers down Grant's legs and let them go allowing them to pool on the floor like his pants had done only seconds ago.

 

Both men stared at each other breathing heavily. Andrew licked his lips as he took hold of Grant's hands and placed them on the waistband of his shorts. He removed his hands and let them hang at his sides, giving Grant the go ahead.

 

Grant's hands were shaking. He wasn't scared, but instead just a little nervous. They had broken up, gotten back together, and had just gotten engaged. And now they were about to have makeup sex. A lot had happened and Grant was so horny that he was having trouble getting his thoughts together.

 

Andrew placed his hands back on top of Grants and smiled sweetly at him. "Just relax baby, we're fine. It's ok. We'll go slow." He removed his hands once again and pulled Grant in for a soft kiss. As he pulled away, Andrew let his hands settle back at his sides again as he waited for Grant's move.

 

Grant took a few breaths and slowly slid Andrew's shorts down the lower half of his body. Both men were completely exposed to each other now. Their eyes traveled over each other's bodies, drinking in every feature. Their gaze met again. "I love you..."

 

Andrew smiled as he took a step closer into Grant's space. "I love you too." He breathed. He let his hands roam over Grant's body. As he ran his hands down his abdomen and lower down below his waist, he noticed something that made him smile. As Andrew felt the soft, smooth skin around Grant's cock, he leaned it and whispered to him.

 

"You shaved. Apparently someone thought they were going to get lucky tonight, hm?"

 

Grant chuckled. "Hey, I can hope..." Grant let his hands explore the same area of his fiancé's body. "Hm, looks like someone could use a shave..."

 

Andrew leaned closer to Grant's ear and nipped at the lobe with his teeth as he whispered hotly, "I'll let you do it later..."

 

Grant felt his cock twitch as he moaned softly.

 

Andrew giggled at his response. "I knew you'd like that answer."

 

"Shaving you is a weakness of mine. You know I thoroughly enjoy it." Grant spoke as his fingers curled around the length of Andrew's cock.

 

Andrew sucked in a breath, "Yes... I know..."

 

Grant pumped Andrew's cock a few times, making sure to spread the little bead of precum around with his thumb. "Baby, make love to me. Baby please I... I can't take it anymore. I, I want you inside of me."

 

How could Andrew not give in to those sweet requests? He leaned in and kissed him before he took a few small steps back. He motioned with a nod of his head towards the bed. "Lay down."

 

Grant did as he was told and laid down on his back. He watched as Andrew made his way onto the bed and on top of him laying his body on top of his. Grant reveled in the sweet feeling of full on skin on skin contact. The familiar feeling of Andrew's weight on top of him was comforting. He spread his legs, letting Andrew settle himself in between as they started to kiss.

 

They took things slow and steady. Each of them grinding on the other's hips every so often as they made out. All of a sudden, Grant heard the familiar 'click' of the lube bottle. He knew it was time.

 

Andrew broke the kiss briefly to lube up one of his fingers. "I'll go slow." He whispered as he claimed his lover's lips again.

 

Grant felt Andrew gently circle around his hole and he spread his legs a little farther open. Within seconds, Andrew pushed a single digit inside of him. Grant broke the kiss as he hissed in a mix of pain and pleasure. A moan fell from his lips as Andrew slowly fucked him open, preparing him for a second digit. And, when he felt that Grant was sufficiently stretched, he inserted a second.

 

"Fuck baby, you're so tight..." 

 

Grant whimpered. His thoughts were starting to jumble in his brain. "It's been a long two weeks since we've done this." 

 

"God, has it really been that long since I've had the pleasure of having your beautiful naked body in my bed?" Andrew continued to fuck Grant open as he spoke. 

 

"Yes..." Grant breathed. "It really has been tha... AHH!" 

 

Andrew's smile grew bigger. He had found what he was looking for. And that was Grant's prostate. He continued to stroke that small little pleasure spot as he watched his lover fall apart beneath him. He wasted no time in adding a third finger, which Grant took as a champ. 

 

"Oh God, Andrew! Please, I need you inside me!" 

 

Andrew leaned over and kissed Grant soothingly on the lips. "Shh baby, just relax. I'm gonna give it to you so good." He slowly ran a hand through Grant's hair as he listened to his panting. "So, so good baby. We're gonna make up for those two weeks." 

 

Grant whimpered at Andrew's words. He lifted his hips up, his cock coming into contact with the other's. "Please... Please..." He pleaded.

 

Andrew moved into position, settling himself in between Grant's legs. He flipped open the cap on the lube bottle and coated his cock in a generous amount. He then placed his hands underneath Grant's legs and lifted his hips up as he lined himself up with Grant's waiting entrance. 

 

Very slowly Andrew pushed into him. Pushing just the tip far enough to stretch his lover around him. 

 

"Ahh, baby... Baby, deeper. Please..."

 

Andrew complied and pushed himself deeper. He moved slowly letting Grant get used to him again and also because he wanted to draw this out. Finally, he bottomed out. 

 

Andrew felt his world become complete again. The familiar feeling of being balls deep inside his lover was back, and boy, was it ever comforting. He felt the heat pooling in his groin. He had to give himself a few seconds if we wanted to avoid cumming right then and there. 

 

After a few seconds, Grant finally spoke up. "Move baby. I need to feel you." He groaned as his chest heaved up and down. 

 

Andrew didn't say anything, but instead started to thrust. Slowly at first, gently moving his hips back and forth, his cock moving inside his fiancé making him moan. He kept a steady pace for a bit, but he knew he wasn't going to last long. He increased his pace and changed his angle making sure to hit Grant's sweet spot. 

 

Grant was a mess, falling apart underneath Andrew. His breathing was ragged and his head was spinning. His cock was rock hard and he knew he didn't have much time left. "Baby I, I don't know how much longer I can last." 

 

"Oh my God me too, me too..." Andrew leaned forward laying on top of Grant. He slowly thrusted into him pounding on his prostate as he did. He leaned in and kissed Grant again before reaching his hand in between them, grabbing a hold of Grant's cock. 

 

Andrew straightened his body upright again as he jerked his lover to completion. And he watched Grant's body react. His back arching off the bed, like a man possessed. His mouth fell open in a silent scream as strips of white painted his abdomen. A sharp intake of breath was heard as harsh moans filled the air between them. 

 

And that's when Andrew lost it. He came, hard and fast. Buried deep inside his lover, he coated his insides with his seed. Filling him up just like he wanted to. He rocked his hips as his vision became blurry. Tears. He literally sobbed his way through his orgasm, moans and whimpers spilling out of his mouth. 

 

He rode it out as his eyes traveled down to Grant. His body was perfectly silhouetted against the moonlight that shown in the room. The shadows perfectly outlined every curve of his lean body. And he could see his chest rapidly rising and falling as he finished riding out his orgasm. 

 

Andrew collapsed on top of Grant. Grant's arms immediately found their way and wrapped themselves around his baby's body. Pulling him close as they both tried to settle their breathing. 

 

Andrew lay his head on Grant's chest and listened to his rapid heartbeat slow itself to a more steady pace. Several minutes passed before either spoke a word. 

 

"That, was amazing..." 

 

Andrew smiled as he looked up at Grant. "Hell yeah it was..." 

 

Both men chuckled as Grant glanced down at his abdomen. "I think I need a clean up." 

 

Andrew snuggled closer against Grant's body. "There's a towel on the nightstand next to you. Just use that for now." 

 

Grant reached over and retrieved said towel. He quickly wiped up his drying cum and discarded the towel on the floor next to the bed. His free hand found its way into Andrew's hair. He slowly carded his fingers through it in the exact way he knew would make Andrew melt into him. 

 

Andrew sighed at the relaxing feeling. He had forgotten just how much he enjoyed this. "You know, I couldn't exactly tell you at the time, but, when you were standing in the living room, I was getting so hard." 

 

Grant laughed. "What?" 

 

"Yeah. I mean, you looked fucking delicious. And that outfit..." Andrew whistled as he recalled the memory. 

 

Grant laughed even harder at the comment. "Really? Jeans and a tshirt? That's all it took huh?" 

 

"You know those are the outfits I adore you in the most!" 

 

Grant laughed again and held Andrew closer to him, pulling the covers up around both of them. Several silent minutes passed before Grant spoke again, his voice serious. 

 

"Can I ask you something?" 

 

"You know you can ask me anything." 

 

Grant swallowed, nervousness creeping up into his throat. "I know we touched on the subject earlier... But, why did you start cutting?" 

 

Andrew closed his eyes. He knew this question was coming, sooner or later. 

 

Grant was quick to respond with another comment before Andrew had a chance to answer. "I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk about it right now we don't have to." 

 

"No, don't be sorry." Andrew sighed before he continued. "I cut because it made me feel something. Not being with you was so painful that it literally sucked all my emotion out of me. I felt nothing. But the feeling of that blade slicing into my flesh made me feel something. I was dying to have you back. I would have done anything." 

 

Andrew lifted his head and propped himself up on his elbow to look at Grant. "I lost my mind because I lost you. This definitely wasn't the smartest thing I've done. And I don't resort to self harm." He took a deep breath looking Grant in the eyes. "If you're worried, don't be. This isn't something I'll be doing again."

 

Grant smiled at Andrew. "No it's not. Because I'm not going anywhere. I swear on my life Andrew, I will never leave you. Not ever." 

 

Andrew gave a half smile. "I know. And the same goes for you." He leaned in and captured Grant's lips in a sweet kiss. "I can't wait to make you my husband." 

 

Grant felt a tear run down his face. "I love you." 

 

Andrew watched as the tear rolled down Grant's cheek. It looked like a bead of silver mercury running down his pale face in the moonlight. He gently wiped it away as he whispered, "I love you too." 

 

Andrew returned to his previous position, laying down with his head settled back on Grant's chest. He felt himself starting to drift off into sleep but was pulled out of it by Grant's next question. 

 

"Sooo... What about blondie?"

 

Andrew laughed at this. "Oh, you don't have to worry about blondie." He propped himself back up to look at Grant. "I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. I mean, not only was this whole thing incredibly awkward, but he was too rich for my taste."

 

Grant cocked an eyebrow. "Rich?"

 

Andrew laughed. "Oh yeah. Okay, I mean, I met the guy at Starbucks. Which should tell you something right there. But, he's some CEO of some company and dude was not only dressed in expensive business clothes, but he had a Rolex and get this. Diamond cuff links."

 

Grant's eyebrows raised higher this time. "Diamond cuff links? Come on."

 

Andrew laughed again. "Yes, I kid you not. Oh, and he drives a Ferrari." 

 

Grant burst out laughing. "Well, because of course he does! Who was this guy trying to impress?" 

 

"Me apparently!" 

 

Both men continued to laugh at the ridiculousness of their conversation. "Yeah, this guy was something else. I mean, he was a really nice guy, but just way too over the top for me." 

 

"Well shit, if only he knew that a tshirt and jeans was all it took..." 

 

Andrew laughed again. "No kidding. Plus, you're a thousand times hotter than he is."

 

Grant smirked. "Of course I am."

 

Andrew smiled and pecked his lover on his lips. "I'm not gonna lie, I did enjoy the car. I mean, it was pretty slick..."

 

Grant laughed again. "But not enough to sway you huh?"

 

"Pshh, nah. I didn't like the dude THAT much..."

 

"Good."

 

Both men laughed as Andrew settled his head back down on Grant's chest, tuning into the soft pitter patter of his heart beat. They both snuggled closer to each other as Grant picked up where he left off, carding his fingers through Andrew's hair until they both eventually fell asleep with each other. 

 

Today marked a new day that they both decided they would start their lives over together with each other.


End file.
